after having a talk with my dad today, i finally knew.
all this propaganda in my house, can realli be confusing o.o(like duh. -.-)
but at least now i knew tt my dad truely loves us and always did.
its just tt his mind has been...blurred by some ppl.
the cloudy image in his head.
maybe it is becoz of some things tt happened which allowed him to think clearly once again.
or maybe its becoz he cldnt express himself properly all this while.
wadever it is, wadever happens, at least my burden has lightened a little.
even if he had to leave, i noe tt he will always love us no matter wad, and no matter wad happens we will always love him.

and like my dad, i cant express myself well all the time. lols.
runs in the family i guess -.-
its a dangerous thing >.>
its either im too complicated, or its just hard to express my emotions.
and like my mum, i feel hurt easily lols.
its oso a dangerous thing -.-
put both together and voila, a disaster is formed.
disaster referring to me not them lols.
if i cant express myself well, i end up not being able to convey my msg properly and..once i start tinking of the consequences i wld feel hurt and more importantly..i wld cause others to feel hurt by behaving tt way.
when i am upset, i wld start doin all sorts of stuff to ease my pain lols.(dun worry im not so emo until i wld cut myself or do other stuffs like tt -.-)
things like:
-playing sudoku LOLs.
-blogg (aint tt effective though. coz i can onli say THIS much. if u noe wad i mean lols)
-write abt it in my diary(yea i have one lols. and it may not be on paper)
-Pray(He has always been there. Its all becoz of Him, i am able to make it this far)

yups those r just some of the main things i wld do.

now for today.
went to relatives' house to visit.
blah blah blah.
had THE talk wif cousins lol.
spent time wif them and such.
dennn went home and here i am blogging.
oya and b4 tt i found those old stuff i had.
those papers and things in the box i have.
dating all the way bak to...i dunno. quite long alreadi.
read those letters sent to me, those papers i kept.
gd times lol.
when everything was still okay, everyone was happy, we all had fun and such.
tt reminds me of the car ride i had to home just now.
we were all laughing in the car coz of jovi's lack of knowledge on balls lol.(if u noe wad i mean)
my bro and dad had a conversation on the car tyre or somethin.
den those thingys were made of steel balls and stuff.
the conversation led to my bro asking " den u show me la"
we all started laughing our heads off >.>
mmm.
this laughter, im gonna miss it.
it may be the last time we wld be having a time like tt.
of course i hope tt it wld not be =/
but..owell.
thankfully no one caught me shedding a tear during the whole scenario lols.
i repeat it was A TEAR.
i wasnt crying hahas.
see.
a simple yet nice day. (to me)

while having THE talk wif my cousins, i suddenly felt like goin for parade LOLs.
funny thing huh -.-
but then, at tt moment, i knew why i love NPCC so much, y do i continue striving despite having many downfalls.
reason being...
for me to noe, for u to find out. lolz.

having a chat wif sihao now. basically this was wad he said:

[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
swensen ar...o.0 but ur cough or watever hao le ma
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
o.0
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
ermm
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
wait till i recover lor
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
lols
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
still haven hao ar..o.0
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
bendan jiu shi bendan.. take so long recover
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
lmao
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
f5
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
smack
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
blehx
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
=.=''
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
-.-
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
btw how u le won die rite..o.0
l CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
dunno lols
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
hu noes man
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
i cld fall down dead any moment
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
lol
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
don worry u die le i will cry xDD
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
lmao
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
don be so touch i noe i am a good fren
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
^^
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
LOLs
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
-.-
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
don cry worx
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
lmao
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
but cny say what die die
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
choy~
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
--.-
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
btw
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
cannot die b4 i die
[c=#7575FF][u]~ † *`Emo`Archz.™ * † ~ - Archz the name Devilz my soul... [/u][/c] says:
i won forgive u bendan...=.=
ll CLarIc3_x3' ll [WXY]* Proverbs 19:21, 29:7 says:
-.-

thx alot sihao lols.

he's a gd fren hahas.
even though he can be annoying sometimes :x
but still young la.
playful abit nvm. lols.
enjoy ur childhood while u can. :D

woots it has been a long time since i posted a long post. hehs.
and i have linked u alreadi lele ^^
thx abdullah for ur dedication LOLs. o.O

treasure ur family members, frens and the times u guys spend together.
put all ur differences aside, bond and Love.
u will nv noe when everything will be gone the nxt day.